Surviving the Fires – Emotional Changes
Are you a survivor of the forest fires ravaging Ventura county and moving into Santa Barbara county, California? What emotional changes are normal at this point in the fires and what can you do to gain your balance back as quickly as possible? If so, this information is for you, written as a psychologist. What to do and not to do right now. That said, I took notes as I went through it myself this week, evacuating as I saw the flames not far from my home.
Read MoreThe Bird’s Eye View
So if you find yourself perilously close to the edge of falling (perhaps a new year brings this feeling about), take a bird’s eye view; get some distance and calm yourself from within and realize what you are grateful for in this moment. If the bammm comes anyway, make a choice to react or to respond. Either takes seconds.
In mindfulness-based therapy, you’ll learn tools, including meditation, and how to view your life from a different point of view, leaving you free to fly to new horizons without fear of falling.
How to Make Trustworthy Decisions
You learn to trust your own experience when you accept the present as it is. This is the foundation of trustworthy decisions.
No matter the outcome of being present, cultivating awareness is worth it. I don’t know another way to inform myself and build trust in my decision-making process. I know the ways that numb, misinform, hurt, distort and lead me astray. Perhaps you know those ways, too. Let me tell you about a mindful way to make decisions.
To begin, develop awareness of the moment as it is, without adjusting or judging the impact. Stay neutral as you take in what is presenting itself in your field of consciousness.
Read MoreWho lives to be 100 years old?
As a holistic psychologist, I am fascinated and uplifted by what I’ve learned over the years about how we can, through choices we make each day, assist in bringing about good mental and physical health. Drawing from studies of people over 100 years old (63,000 of them) it’s mostly lifestyle choices and stress management that make the difference, @ 70%. Enjoy this 13 minute interview of a 96 year old woman who exemplifies what the centenarian studies found. She begins the interview talking about her mindset. Take note!
Read MoreFood Cures for Mood Purrs
I’ve been learning and teaching that what we eat affects how we feel, think and behave in a substantial way. Change what you eat and you change; your moods, anxiety level, impulsivity, problem solving ability, get up and go, fatigue levels, sleep patterns, and on and on. Each person will have certain foods and food categories (like all cow dairy products) they simply can not tolerate or digest and these must be discovered and eliminated. Other foods are just bad for the body for everyone. The right foods for you are like a cure and your moods will purr along like a happy kitty does when content.
Psychonutrition is a burgeoning field and I for one am thrilled that the establishment is finally seeing the truth and doing something about it.
Read MoreMindfulness and Self-Compassion as Therapy Tools
You’ve probably wondered why I use and teach mindfulness and self-compassion in therapy. Or if you’re new to my blog you might be wondering how they relate to the services I provide. Although I couldn’t possibly write everything about it now, here I talk about it in a way that could help you begin to see the way they can release your long-held emotional pain. Or if you have learned to numb out instead of feeling it and they will help you feel alive again.
Read MoreAnother Reason to Avoid Anti-Anxiety Meds
I share with you some new research out of concern that even a small amount of anti-anxiety meds taken before surgery can cause more problems than it helps,new research says. So what? My take is that the study suggests that the effects of the anti-anxiety medication, in this abbreviated view of a one time use, affects a person’s brain functioning and sleep quality. After reading this, I am also concerned about the effect on one’s brain function and sleep with long term use…
Read More6 Steps to Unblock Body Wisdom
Your physical body is an entrance to secrets you hold within your wisdom there. At the same time, your physical structures can hold memories or builds blocks that separate you from your body wisdom. Sometimes the block becomes more of a focus than the wisdom.
Blocks come in various forms. Some show up physically as tension, areas of pain, illness and chronic illness, poor sleep, fatigue, or as impulsivity, addictions or as toxins, allergies and food intolerances.
Some are emotion based such as incongruent emotional reactions, subconscious memories, emotional pain, sadness, numbing, and anger.
Others are energetic blocks such as restricted blood flow leading to headaches, sluggishness, difficulty with focus and comprehension, confusion and indecision, unmotivated, and fearful or anxious. You get the picture.
Blocks can overlap and often do, reeking greater discomfort or none at all, that you are aware of. Instead you have a sense of being stuck, stagnant, unclear about the whats and whys of your life. Making decisions and getting out of your own way seems harder to do in a particular area of your life than it used to.
In order to help you get unblocked, one way I use with clients in therapy is via guided visualization into your body’s blocks to help you to retrieve your wisdom within. Often this makes more sense than entering through your thoughts which can be clouded by self-doubt and defenses. Thoughts also add another layer of blocks which are formed by habitual patterns, cognitive biases, fears, and beliefs. You can do this yourself. Here’s how in 6 steps.
Read MoreFinding Tranquility
Where do you find tranquility in your life these days? How will you know you found it? What does tranquility feel like to you?
Here are my thoughts on where you find ranquility. Tranquility feels like a still lake. It’s alive, organic, and in motion, yet appears still. Still, as in serene, intact, whole, connected and dynamic.
When rain comes, the motion on the lake’s surface reacts appearing to divide, detach and upset the wholeness, disrupting the stillness.
How to Get Unstuck
Flexibility is the key to getting unstuck and to avoiding getting stuck.
Let flexibility become a way of living as you begin this new year. You’ll become healthier, resilient and prepared for most things if you embrace the constancy of change in your life. As Carl Jung put it, the only thing you can count on is change.
What does this mean exactly? It means it is necessary to continually adapt to whatever is happening in the present. Yes, continually.
Kimberly Wulfert, PhD, Licensed Psychologist & Coach in Ventura & Ojai California, virtually
Are you seeking personal growth and transformation? If you are holding back and blocked from within, feeling anxious, fearful, unfulfilled, trapped, indecisive, invisible, or yearning for the release of your natural self and breaking through blocks to creative or business success, let my help you. My mindfulness-based approach may be just what you need to turn things around. The methods I use have proven their value as seen in current research on mindfulness, meditation, and neuroscience when combined with psychology. I bring 35+ years of training & work as a psychotherapist to this cutting edge work I now exclusively offer.
I help you broaden and deepen your awareness, to think outside your box, to develop your gifts, and recognize and integrate the wisdom you've gained to guide you. Working with me you will feel seen, heard and understood for the unique individual you are. This is not traditional therapy. Let's talk first to see if this is right for you.
As The Woman's Coach, I help women over 40 who are stuck, stagnant and yearning to move forward, to Revitalize precious dreams and goals that fell to the wayside. Cultivate ~ Integrate ~ Act is my coaching motto, awareness and acceptance before action. Click on the coaching tab to find out more or contact me. Let's talk before another year gets away from you.