Mindfulness and Suicide

Hardly a week goes by that suicide isn’t mentioned on the news. There seem to be two predominant groups of people in which suicide is occurring at an alarming rate: Soldiers and young adults.

The news recently reported that now more men and women soldiers have died at their own hand than on the battle field. This figure included suicides while on deployment and after returning home. A soldier is a soldier no matter where he or she may be. The ravages of being in war, in theater, seeing those around you wounded and killed, fear and or uncertainty ever present can change a person’s brain functioning and emotional make-up forever. Now combine this with the emotional and mental characteristics of the person before they went to war and the picture and complexity are apparent.

Second in my opinion are young adults, aged 17, 18- mid-20’s. Often they are working in the arts, music, acting, or in college. We know hate and bullying are named as causes in some cases, by the victim himself or by suggestion from others. Drugs, alcohol, loneliness, depression, loss of parental support and love, fear, sexual orientation, self-loathing and mental illness are other recognized factors in the larger picture.

So what part can mindfulness serve in this tragic choice made by people who feel desperate beyond despair and believe there is no other way out? Can you guess? It relates to us, not them.

Our being  mindfully aware of someone we care about to the extent that we notice changes in their actions, dress, energy level, interests, odd statements they make, comments that include suicide or words to that effect, are indicators of what your loved one is dealing with in this moment. Of this and this alone you can be mindfully aware. You can’t know what they will do or won’t do in the next moment. Rather than make a judgment, talk with them.

With your current awareness of them in mind, you can ask them a question or two to show you are noticing. You can tell them you are here for them if they need someone to talk to. In some cases you can guide them to get help. Other times you can help at level you and they see fits; the adult person still has free will. Getting a trained mental health person or their authority figure involved is always a good idea when you are able to move the person in that direction.*** Call the police if you know they have a plan for how they will commit suicide and the means to carry it out. The police will take the person to an appropriate hospital for a 72 hour hold to keep them from harming their self while also being evaluated and possibly treated as necessary. This is the best chance they have of not making things worse at this irrational time in their life.

Sharing your mindful awareness of someone with them will feel more important to them than you might imagine. Take for example, the person who is feeling isolated, ashamed, less than, invisible. Your attention to noticing something has changed in them can feel like a yearned for connection and caring. I imagine it as a beam of light and love, like shining forth from a lighthouse over the ocean. When Your attention is placed on another free of judgments and a reliving of past circumstances, it may open their closed door just a crack, and that may be enough for a necessary next step to happen.

Mindfulness and suicide are not normally thought of in the same sentence. There is personal power mindful presence affords us. Being current and aware, open and non-judgmental in the company of another whose current words and actions alarm us because we hear, see or feel signs of distress, changes for the worse, or thoughts and actions with suicidal ideas is the overlap of these two states of mind. This is where mindfulness of one human toward another might be the difference that’s needed in that moment.

***The National Suicide Hotline number is 1-800-SUICIDE    Suicide Risk Assessment for teens and young adults