Scared to Meditate Alone, reason #3 why people stop after class ends

This is number three of five posts explaining the five common reasons I believe people stop meditating when their how-to class is over.

To review, the first is that it’s tough to stay motivated when each session it is difficult to get going alone and the rewards are felt less often. The second is that people procrastinate and don’t find the time often enough resulting in their intention to practice  ceasing to motivate them. Once the intention is forgotten, bringing their awareness to meditating most likely will end to.

Today I’ll talk about how some people become scared of the silence or feel unsure of how to proceed and don’t want to try again or alone. This is really two reasons in one, but they can overlap under the salient feeling of being scared.

Some people are so used to noise, sounds, people, the environment they built to live in, they find silence to be, well, an unknown and by definition, unknowns can make a person feel afraid and cautious.  A Do Not Enter Here sign can go up inside their mind. They want music in the background, or a guided meditation, or a DVD to feel safe and comfortable.

These are fine for relaxation purposes and for distraction.  I’m ok with people learning to get into regular practice using partially guided meditation CDs, that have long pauses of silence on the track if this helps them get over the hump.  But for meditation to change and improve your mind, body and brain health, silence is golden.

Ask people and  monks who meditate long hours each day for years on end if they want background guidance or music?  They would tell you, as do I in my limited experience, silence is a symphony of sounds. I crave the silence and so will you.

The second part of obstacle number 3 is not knowing how to proceed when meditating alone. Again, using a partially guided meditation CD temporarily in the beginning is fine as long as you intersperse  silence and going it alone between the CD guidance.  Try using a similar induction as the CD teacher uses, more or less.  Memorizing anyone else’s induction is not necessary.

Instead for example, decide that you are going to practice concentration meditation today, and find something near you to fix your focus one. A candle flame, a mandala, your breath, or a mantra are all good focus points. Pick one and focus on it for five, ten or twenty minutes, bringing your full attention gently back to it when your “monkey mind” takes over. This way is not being as alone as some of the other meditation practices.

Once you find your way of getting into the silence you’ll still tweak it as time goes on, as you grow and learn more about meditating.  It’s a skill we continue to learn, like playing a musical instrument. That’s why it’s called a practice throughout your life.

Keep in mind, dear perfectionists, no one is grading you pass/fail. No one knows how you are doing. This is by definition a singular experience of alert focused awareness. Simply and gently try what you do know so far and let things fall into place as you go along open and receptive.

Your inner mind and body want to be healthy through and through. When you are sitting still in the silence with your mind as quiet as it can be in the moment, let your inner wisdom lead the  way.

For my upcoming classes on how to meditate for your health click HERE.  They begin beginning Jan. 28, 2013 and preregistration is required.